Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Neither Man nor Beast

Today, I am not fit for man nor beast.

That phrase has been rolling around in my head all day. I'm not sure when it started, sometime early this morning, but I do know why. I'm a cranky, whiny, tired, bitchy woman today. There. You have it. Me. Bitchy. You had no clue, right?

Well, I am.

And I'm convinced, that the person who coined that phrase above, was a menopausal women.

Yes. There. I said it.

I'm menopausal.

Not fit for man. Not fit for beast. Darned good thing I have neither in my life, because I imagine both man and beast would be turning tail and running about now.

I've thought about it -- the man in my life thing. Dabbled in it for a couple of months here recently. Strangest thing, but he just got on my nerves soooo bad-ly.

Here, let me do this for you, sweetie. No! I'll do it myself. Get away!

Sent me sweet little damned e-cards all the time, thoughtful little rhymes and poems. Drove me freakin' nuts! Quit being so damned NICE.

And then it dawned on me. It wasn't him. It was me. ME!

I'm menopausal, you know.

Menopausal women should not even think about relationships. Never, ever, ever think about relationships. And especially if menopausal women are assertive-control-freaks-who-
have-learned-to-do-everything-themselves-in-life-because-no-man-would-ever-do-
things-for-them! Oh, so sad is my life.

Not!

I'm perfectly happy with my life. I am just not fit for man nor beast.

That leaves only one thing to do. Write. And there is a wonderful little story brewing in this assertive-control-freak brain of mine about a menopausal woman who thinks she wants a relationship only to learn that she is indeed NOT fit for man -- but the beast intrigues her.

Hmmmmm.... Time to write.

Maddie

p.s. Don't steal my idea. :) 'Cause, well, I'm an assertive-control-freak Mama who is not fit... Grrrrr.... Got it??
Post a Comment